When Double D Loses His Hat
by Edfan765
Summary: The world falls apart! Follow the Eds on their epic-crackfic-journey to retrieve Double D's hat from the shadey mystery character! Who could it be? Can the Eds get the sacred hat back, and save the universe? Possibly not.
1. The Not so Epic Prolouge

**Hey guess what! I will show you exactly what happens when Double D loses his hat… THE UNIVERSE FALLS APART!! Anyways, as a warning, this story is going to be VERY Random (AKA: crackfic). So, enjoy what happens when I'm not feeling sane.**

**Don't criticize this because it's random, saying "OMG THIS MAKES NO SENSE!1!!!1!"I already told you, this is supposed to be RANDOM!!**

**I do not own anything in this fiction.**

**Chapter I: The not-so-epic Prologue**

It was a normal day when the universe fell apart. Double D woke up normally, and quickly dressed into his red shirt and purple pants. He walked towards his closet. That's where he kept his neatly-folded clothes. However, this time, he discovered something truly horrifying. It could very well make the entire universe fall apart.

"_MY HAT IS GONE!!!"_

"OH NO!!" Ed yelled, crawling out from under the bed along. Double D just stared at the single-eyebrowed Ed-boy.

"Why are you here?" Double D asked.

Ed shrugged. "My momma was yelling at the refrigerator to give Sarah some Orange Juice, so I decided to sleep over at your place. Plus, I love how this place smells like carpet!"

Eddy ran into the room through the window. "Hey boys! How's- OH MY GOSH!!" He noticed the hatless Double D. "THE UNIVERSE IS GOING TO FALL APART AS WE KNOW IT!! SOON EVERYTHING WILL REVERSE!!"

Double D raised an eyebrow at Eddy. "Please Eddy, the universe will not fall apart because my hat is missing."

Ed poked Eddy. "Look." He pointed at a convenient trail of mud-laced footsteps leading to the window. The Eds looked out the window to reveal a shady dude running away with the precious sock hat in his grasp.

"HEY! GET BACK HERE!" Eddy yelled. The shady guy ran away.

"Still, I don't think it was such a good idea for him to be waving a sign that says 'I HAVE DOUBLE D'S HAT, YOU IDIOTS' sticking out of his head." Double D added.

Ed quickly grabbed a bucket and shoved it on Double D's head. "We cannot let the secret of his head be released to the mutants of Hades!" He yelled for no reason. Double D then stepped back 3 paces away from Ed.

Eddy was sweating. "QUICK! WE GOTTA GET DOUBLE D'S HAT BACK!!" Be grabbed Double D and Ed by the throats and jumped out the window.

Eddy landed in a thorn bush, and Ed and Double D landed in a convenient pile of feathers. However, Ed bloated rapidly and said. "I'm allergic!" He then violently...

**EXPLODES!!!**

But lives.

After Ed miraculously recovered in three seconds, the Eds decided to walk around the Cul-de-sac, to see Jimmy violently beat up Kevin, Rolf becoming a straight-up gangster (word), Jonny throwing Plank into the wood chipper, Nazz and Sarah also beating up Kevin, and Plank's ghost coming out of nowhere and starting to possess a toaster and start makking a huge economical take over with a company (Motto: Potato for your soul?).

"HOLY CRUD! LOOK!" Kevin yelled for no reason while being given a wet wily from Jimmy. He pointed at a golden tractor coming to run over him.

"The entire universe is falling apart!" Ed yelled. Suddenly his eyes turned distant and he said "The sum of the five equals 69 is the sum of the square root minus Pi and forty two multiplied by Seven hundred and twenty two!"

"OH NO! IT GOT LUMPY!!!" Eddy yelled dramatically, falling in slow-motion.

Double D started to sweat rapidly. "Quickly gentlemen! That-a way!" He pointed to some direction and the other Eds started to follow. Little did they know of the epic quest ahead of them.

… **No comment… **


	2. A Quick Paramedic Call

**Wow! Already 4 reviews and 3 alerts! Thank you all for the awesome motivation! :)**

**I do not own anything in this fiction.**

**Chapter II: A Quick Paramedic Call**

"(Pant) Soo.... tired (gasp) double... Deee... (Pant)" Eddy complained.

"We've only been walking for 10 minutes Eddy." Double D told him.

"It seemed like 79 years..." Eddy complained drastically. "Hey Ed... Where are we?"

Ed looked around, only to see them in the middle of the same cow field from the BPS movie.

"The same cow field from the BPS movie, my dear chum." He replied.

Eddy randomly tripped over a stick, and fell onto the ground, and started bouncing down the hill, into a cow, and slammed into the ground again. Then, the cow sat on him. "OW! SOMEONE CALL A PARAMEDIC!"

Double D took out an overly-gigantic cell phone from under his bucket on his head and tried dialing 911. However, the missing-hat effect was starting to take effect on him...

"... What number do you dial for 9-1-1? It's 1-9-1-4-2-#-4 right?" Double D asked, unsure.

"I think so." Eddy said, also unsure. As you can probably tell, _this _is why Double D never takes off his hat.

"Okay..." Double D punched in the number on his giant phone. "Hello...?"

"BOBBY! I MISSED YOU SOOOO MUCH!!!"

"I'm sorry, who is this?"

"YOU FORGOT YOUR AUNTIE LIDAONOMAFORMIDIANOLOCOMADA?!? (Pronounced Li-da-O-nom-A-for-mid-E-an-O-lo-co-mad-a), BILLY BILLY BOBBANA BOBBANA ANNA FON FO FILLY?!"

"Who's Billy Billy Bobbana Bobbana Anna Fon Fo Filly?"

"YOU FORGOT YOUR NAME TOO!?! HOW COULD YOU BILLY BILLY?!"

And Double D hung up immediately. "... So it's not 1-9-1-4-2-#-4... Maybe we should try '1-800-KEVIN-KILLORZ?'"

The other Eds nodded vigorously.

Double D pounded that number in as well.

"Hello Operator?"

"Hello. How may we be of service?"

"We need a paramedic."

"A $9.99 Kevin bashing coming up in two seconds flat!"

The operator then hung up.

Double D looked back at his friends. "Nope. That's still not it."

**Back in the cul-de-sac**

We see a dark shady figure behind Ed's house. He comes out of the shadows to reveal his bio. He has long black hair that covers his black eyes most of the time. He had a black open jacket over his grey T-shirt. He also has dark blue jeans and a black belt (Not Kung-Fu you fools!) and grey sneakers. His slightly tanned skin was then exposed to the sunlight, welcoming the sunlight.

However, you just wasted 20 seconds reading that bio, and imagining on what he looks like.

He then, grabbed something behind him, which turned out to be a sword sheath. He drew his silver sword with a golden hilt, with the design of leaves on it. It was in mint condition, looking as if it had never been used in its existence.

However, you just wasted another 15 seconds reading the sword's bio.

He then pulled out a cell phone with his free hand, and opened it up, to see a picture of Kevin.

"All I have to do is kill the dork and then I can get back to the band in L.A." He smirked.

He turned to view the cul-de-sac, in more turmoil than before. So, I shall explain what each person is doing.

**Jonny: Destroying several trees and increasing pollution.**

**Rolf: Is dressed like a gangster, and started up a successful rap group called "Rolfy Boys."**

**Jimmy: Becoming a professional wrestler and beating the living spaghetti out of Kevin.**

**Sarah: Becoming the most girliest, pink-loving, girl, that she makes Barbie dolls look manly.**

**Nazz: Grows an obsession with Cookie dough, face cake, dinner, FALCOWN PAWNCH, and several other random things.**

**Kevin: Becoming the most wimpy weakling in the world, that he makes people as wimpy as Double D extreme professional fighters. He also looks like one of those X-TREME nerds with pocket protectors, glasses, pants that go up to chest etc.**

**Plank: Is now the president of the U.S. and is currently winning the war against Iraq, China, Northern Korea, Russia, Jamaica, Germany, and Great Britain. He also has taken the entire Southern America and put it under dominion of the U.S.A. However, the name of the U.S.A. has been changed to "Planktopolis" instead. However, somehow, the economy flourished under his rule.**

**The Cul-de-sac itself: All the houses are demolished, with a blood-red sky and the sky is starting to rain meteorites!!**

Leo stared. "I think I might be here a while..."

**Back with the Eds**

Double D sighed. "Great... Any other numbers to call 9-1-1?"

...

"I GOT IT! 1-673-536-3156!" Double D announced, quickly dialing the said numbers. "Hello?"

In a odd voice, giving out that this was a voice mail for a random phone company (Don't wanna get sued) **"SIMPLY SPEAK YOUR SELECTION AND WE'LL DIRECT YOU."**

"Paramedic."

**"SORRY, BUT 'The hot dog said a bad word' IS INVALID. PLEASE TRY AGAIN."**

"Hospital?"

**"SORRY, BUT 'Sup' estupido!' IS INVALID. PLEASE TRY AGAIN."**

"Doctor... (please...?)"

**"SORRY, BUT 'Your face smells like a skunk on 4th of July' IS INVALID. PLEASE TRY AGAIN."**

Double D sighed, knowing this was going to take a while. So he decided to opt dial instead.

**"FOR BILLING, PRESS 1**

**"FOR SHIPPING, PRESS 2**

**"FOR THE SOUND OF THE WORD "DICKIE" BY EDDY, PRESS 3**

**"FOR THE NEED TO EAT COOKIES, PRESS 4"**

THREE MONTHS LATER

**"FOR SOLAR ENERGY, PRESS 67,542,526**

**"FOR PARAMEDICS, PRESS 67,542,527"**

Double D (who now had a 5 foot long beard) quickly dialed 67,543,527.

**"THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING PARAMEDICS. PLEASE HOLD AS WE DIRECT YOU TO AN EMPLOYEE."**

The phone went silent, before switching to a certain song...

**"I LOVE YOU**

**"YOU LOVE ME**

**"WE'RE A GREAT BIG FAMILY..."**

2 more hours later...

At this point, Double D's sanity was at the point of breaking due to all of the stuff that happened to him. Now, his eyes were bloodshot spirals, while his teeth became all pointed for some reason.

"Hey! My name is Melinda Gondale. I'm the cheeriest girl you'll ever talk to! So how can I help you?" A **real **human being said on the phone.

"_I kill you... you kill me... We're a huge... slaughtery..._" Double D sang, as the song was burned in his memory.

"Haha! That's so funny! Anyways, I believe you need a paramedic?" Melinda replied cheerily.

"_With a great... big axe... and a toast from... me to you... Let's kill interns while they're eating shampoo..._"

"... Well, I'll send a paramedic right away!" And the phone hung up.

Double D fell down in exhaustion, KO'ed completely.

**No comment! REVIEW MY INSANITY!!**


	3. Back To The Quest

**(GASP) 8 reviews for 2 ridiculously small chapters?! Wow, I guess I must be better at writing crackfics than I thought :O**

**I do not own anything in this fiction.**

**Yes, I have changed my pen name.**

**Chapter III: Back To The Quest**

After Double D fainted, Ed just stared. "Well, falling onto the ground is very anti-productive. We must get a move on." He then started walking.

Until he got hit by an ambulance.

The back doors burst open to reveal 6 people with 3 stretchers, one of them being the person Double D called. Eddy, who was still under the cow, gawked at Melinda (I won't bother putting a bio to waste your lives. Let's just say she has blond hair down to her waist, and for some reason only about 13. Under aged doctor, or a temporary assistant. You decide), who was currently in her doctor's uniform.

"Your hot!"

"Umm... thanks?"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"You do not need to know."

Melinda took out a fire extinguisher, and knocked out Eddy to shut him up and the medics put all of the Ed boys onto the stretchers.

**To the Hospital we go! ****YAAAAYYY!!**

Eddy woke up the next day.

Screaming.

He had a dream about him being drowned by a T-rex after being chained to a bed with a pterodactyl in a bikini while Rolf was eating a truckload of toasters with Ed destroying a huge building with a bazooka. Meanwhile, a guy called "Shakespear Kitten" was writing a crackfic about him and the Eds. And he thought it was so scary!

"Who-what-where-lolwut-when-wow-woot-wibble-wabble-DICKIE-week-GIANT WEINER!" Eddy yelled. Melinda rushed into his room.

"I heard some very unmanly screaming! What happened?"

"Well-"

"I DON'T WANNA KNOW!"

"You're an insane chick."

"Don't get any ideas. This is only a K rated fiction! So shut it, and GET OUT!"

Melinda grabbed Eddy by his non-existant neck, and threw him 56,000 feet in the air, where he randomly landed on the moon. For some reason, Ed and Double D were there too.

"How did-" Eddy started.

"That Melinda character kicked us both approximately fifty-six thousand feet into the air, Eddy McGee. We must have landed on the Moon. Strangely, it appears that the oxygen level on this barren place is very high." Ed said.

Nearby, a kitten in a Shakespeare costume and space helmet was sitting next to a huge machine called "**The Oxygen Maker 9000!!**"

"**WE WILL WE WILL EAT YOU!**" A random voice came from no where sung. Then it sang again. "**WE WILL WE WILL EAT YOU! **You got sauce on your face, ya big dinnerace, we'll smear your guts all over tha place, yelling **WE WILL WE WILL EAT YOU!**"

Double D suddenly got a distant look in his eyes. "Moon people..." He muttered.

Eddy looked at him as though Double D had just said that jawbreakers were illegal. "Whut?"

"MOON PEOPLE!!!" Double D yelled loudly. Suddenly, about 60 tiny people with rocks for heads surrounded the trio.

"Oh." Eddy said. "We must fight the death in order to survive!!" He reached into his back pocket, and pulled out a _chainsaw_.

Ed reached behind his ear to grab a pencil. The pencil than transformed into a huge rocket launcher.

Double D reached under his hat, and pulled out a huge robo suit.

"DIE, SCUM-SUCKING MUTANTS!!!" Eddy yelled, reving his chainsaw up.

**Due to the graphic violence that would most likely bump the fiction to MA, this scene has been censored, and instead, we will show you the cul-de-sac's current status.**

Kevin screamed like a shrill girl as he ran away from Jimmy. At this point, Jimmy had become muscular enough to defeat Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, Jackie Chan, and many other famous MMA, kickboxing, karate, boxing, dancing, and guitarist champions. It basically means he is able to kill someone with a flick of his finger into the jaw.

Kevin lost the little hair on his head left and lost his hat. His pants was still up to his chest, his shirt with a pocket protector, and his arms have been reduced to the squishiness and puniness of Gummy Worms(insert Copyright Icon here). His arms and feet were reduced to (as Rolf would say) the size of a baby's kazoo because he was so wimpy now! His glasses were bigger than his head, and he was officially 150% dork.

In a very unmanly voice, Kevin yelled, "I should have known calling the Eds 'dorks' would bite me in butt ever so painfully one day!"

The OC from the previous chapter (who will be called Leo) jumped from nowhere and epically **KICKED** Kevin in the face. It would most likely tear his head right off; but since this was a K rated fiction, Kevin was only flung 400 miles per hour into a random brick wall with "Random Brick Wall" painted onto it.

Leo and Jimmy exchanged glances.

"I think we have the same goal." Jimmy said in an extremely buff voice.

Leo nodded. They both jumped into the air majestically, until they tripped over a random toaster, and fell not-so-gracefully.

"I fell!" Leo yelled the obvious.

Kevin got up in excruciating pain. "Now is my chance to escape!" He yelled out his plan. He girlishly ran away from the other two.

"Let's get 'em!" Jimmy said.

They both ran after the uber geek to beat the living spaghetti out of him.

**Back on the Moon...**

At this point, there were nothing but shattered rocks all over the ground. The Eds were covered in small cuts and bruises (The Ed, Edd, n' Eddy version of "I'M IN PAIN NOW!").

"We have defeated the evil ones!" Eddy yelled. "Wait a second... If Ed's smart... that means..."

Double D looked at him questionably. "What Eddy?"

"I'M THE COMIC RELIEF!!"

The other Eds gasped.

Suddenly, Eddy grew buck teeth, his eyes brows fused into one, and his left eye lopsided.

"..."

"Eddy, how are you feeling?" Double D approached cautiously.

"I SMELL NACHOS AFTER I EAT MONKEYS WITH CHAINSAWS AND A SIDE OF DIP!!"

"He's lost it Ed!" Double D shrieked (very unmanly-like) in horror.

**GASP! Everything's gone berserk! Cracky deliciousness with a side of cartoonish violence. *eats said metaphor***

**Anyways, this story is probably going to last like 8 or 9 chapters. They're going to be... RANDOM!! And about 1000 words a piece, so beware of shortness! BEWARE!!**

**Thankz 4 Reading!**


	4. 1st Dickie of Life: Music

**Okay, I've been on haitus for a while. But I'm back.**

**Chapter IV: 1st Dickie of Life: Music**

**Dickie- A shirtfront, for those of you immature people who know what the first syllable means.**

After Eddy's disturbing transformation, Ed pondered this.

"Well, we still have no idea where the shady character with Double D's hat is." He stated. "We need to blast back to our planet!"

Ed grabbed a giant pen out of nowhere, and drew a cannon onto the ground. The cannon came to life. "Into the cannon guys!"

Ed grabbed Double D by his neck and shoved him painfully into the cannon. Ed pulled a string, and Edd was shot 5473158558(insert lots of more numbers here)486273352320561 miles per second into the Earth. He pierced right through the planet, leaving an Edd-shaped hole in the Earth. He finally stopped when he pierced the ground, into Japan.

For some reason, Japan no longer had any humans, but walking hunks of wood. AKA: Plank took over Japan.

Edd got out of his little hole. "ITS THE WOODEN PEOPLE FROM ORLEMANDELTOECOLAMINADO! **(pronounced Or-lem-an-del-toe-co-lan-E-nad-oh)**"

Suddenly, the wood people looked at Double D.

"It's the Dickie guy!"

"The power of dickies compels you!"

"My face smells like dickie!"

"A dickie pooped on my lawn!"

Double D considered why all the wooden guys constantly had the word "dickie" in all of their sentences. "Or maybe this is the city of Omadickie **(pronounced O-mah-dick-E)**"

"Are you looking for the dickiethat stole your hat?" One of the random wood people said.

Ed and Eddy randomly fell from the sky. "Yes we are." Ed said.

One of the random pieces of wood looked skeptically at him. "Hmm... Well, this man is a man from a legend about a man who was a man that always talked stuff about a man in the land of man-"

"GET ON WITH IT!" Double D shouted.

"Well anyways, in order to defeat this man, and get your magical hat back, you must learn the 5 dickies of life. Your quest starts **NOW!**" The plank said.

"Okay," Ed said. "Now what's the first secret?"

The plank went silent.

"**MUSIC!**"

Suddenly, the city blew up, and turned into a large stadium. The Eds and several planks were in the middle, with thousands of screaming fangirls/boys/planks surrounding them. "Now, SING!"

Ed was flung into a random drum set, Eddy grabbed a guitar with his tounge, and Double D let a microphone hit him in the head. But it didn't hurt because he was wearing a bucket.

"Now... DRUM INTRO!!"

Ed started slamming on his drums in a long complicated way for about 20 seconds before hitting the crash cymbals.

Double D was forced to sing while Eddy started playing his guitar, using his tongue as a pick. "You will sing '_This Song Has No Plot!'_" The tutorial plank (For your convienience will be known as "Mr. I'manidiot")

**"WOO!! WOO!! WOOOOOO!!!!  
YEAH-YEAH-YEAH-YEAH-YEAH-YE-AH!!  
YEAH-YEAH-YEAH-YEAH-YEAH-YE-AH!!**

**This song has no plot!  
My car's not in the parking lot!  
The opposite of cold is hot!****  
I'm under a metal pot!**

**The singin' won't stop!  
Hyperactive mops!  
The watermelon will hop!  
****I hope that balloon pops!**

******YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAHYEAHYEAH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!**

**Isn't this song great?  
I'm too young to mate!  
I never experience hate!  
I usually stay up late!**

**He says, 'Yes sir!'  
I say, 'Make her!'  
Silent starts to occur.  
Who the heck is Gir?  
**

******YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAHYEAHYEAH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!**

**That dog says "arf!"  
I have a marroon scarf!  
Look at that barf!  
It's shaped like Vader Darth!**

**There's hot sauce on my face!  
Yet Shakespeare isn't filled with grace.  
I'll smash you all with my mace!  
I've got the Spades of Ace!**

**YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAHYEAHYEAH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!**

**Rockin' out on the venues  
As our song continues  
When the skunk farts I say "Pee-Yew!"  
I hate that letter Q**

**She says 'be mine.'  
I say, 'Only at nine'**

**She says, 'Okay  
'We wait til one to eight.'**

**Then I said, 'Ain't that somethin'?'  
She says 'What are you sayin'?'**

**She turns away  
Then she says 'no way!'**

**A group of rabid weasels  
Infected with measels.**

**Were sitting right next to her**

**She grabs them all**

**and then she runs off.**

**Well then that's how.  
I lost my first cow.  
I sing right now.  
That was a huge POW...**

**Then my friend Eddy,  
He's usually, scammy.  
But underwent surgery,  
Decided to a song for me.**

**It went something this...**

**DDAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!"**

At this point, Eddy was in the middle of spazzing out, attempting to play a guitar solo.

**ED RANDOMLY GOT HIT IN THE HEAD BY A POLE!! (Pole!)  
KEVIN WAS DECAPITATED BY A MOLE! (Mole!)  
SARAH WAS FORCED TO KISS A TROUT! (Trout)  
NAZZ BLOATED TO FOUR HUNDRED AND EIGHTY FIVE POUNDS! (Pounds!)**

**JONNY RANDOMLY EXPLODED! (ploded!)  
JIMMY GOT BLOWN UP BY AN OVEN! (oven!)  
ROLF GOT EATEN BY RABID KITTEN! (Kitten!)  
I THINK HIS FIRST WAS WILLIEM! (Williem!)**

**LEE GOT A NEW BOYFRIEND (Boyfriend!)  
WHO ULTIMATELY GOT A NASTY END (End)  
MARIE GREW UP TO BE 106 YEARS OLD! (old!)  
MAY ATTEMPTED TO BE BOLD. (Bold!)**

**SO NOW I END THIS SONG.  
WITH SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE OF DOOM!  
I SORT OF GOES SOMETHING LIKE THIS!  
WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN TO SHOW?!**

**CAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Cake Cake Cake Cake Cake Cake Cake Cake Cake Cake Cake Cake Cake Cake Cake Cake Cake Cake not so secret message: Kevin is a diphead Cake Cake Cake Cake Cake!!!**

**YESH!!**

The fans screamed, yet most of them were dead. Many of their head's blew up from the sheer stupidity of the song. Eddy used his guitar to smash Ed's drumset.

Ed cried.

Double D panted heavily, as the plank (somehow) walked onto the stage. "Congratulations, Padawon. You have learned the 1st dickie of life. Now. Follow me, as we venture to the next place to learn the 2nd dickie of life: Spaghetti.

**What will happen on the next chapter? What sort of twisted challenge is in store for our Out-of-character-heroes? Find out!**


	5. 2nd Dickie of Life: Spaghetti

**ABC- Awesomeness By Crackfic. Cool Acronym, huh? It's the first 3 letters in the alphabet, the name of a song by Jackson 5 (Rest in peace, M.J. Your music will live on.), and... Uh, something's supposed to go here...**

**Note: There is are (obvious) references to the games "Plants VS Zombies," "Guitar Hero," and "Team Fortress 2." See if you can find them.**

**Chapter V: 2nd Dickie of Life: Spaghetti**

**Spaghetti- A tasty Italian cuisine of pasta with sauce... Mmm... lots and lotsa sauce...**

"Spaghetti is 2nd Dickie of Life," The Plank explained. "You see; spaghetti is a powerful weapon if used right. Well, at least our mystic spaghetti. You see..."

_Flashback_

Many years ago-

_Flashback interrupted_

"But this city's only been here for 2 hours." Ed said.

"A WOMAN NAMED JESSICA WILL EAT YOU IN YOUR SLEEP NEXT TUESDAY, YOU INCOMPETENT DIPHEAD! (No offense to actual women (or men) named Jessica)" Mr. Imanidiotyelledlike the lead singer in a death metal band.

Ed cried more.

_Flashback... again._

Before this city was built, the Planks were an rare species to come by. They were driven to near-extinction. We liked in mere caves and played Dominoes all day. Normally, we would die in an environment like that. However, we had 3 magical foods that kept us alive.

The Magic Taco allowed inanimate objects to come to life. We were able to fend of predators by building cardboard cut-outs of Squashes to squash them. It is also what made us come into the world.

The Magic Sandvich was powerful item. It allowed anyone who ate it to become in the best shape of their life. It also put out fires and removed pee off the eater.

_Flashback interrupted_

"Did we really have to know that?" Double D asked.

"Yes," Mr. Imanidiot said. "You see, skunks were our mortal enemy, so the Magic Sandvich allowed us to dry off. Because, you know, skunks spray out of their-"

"TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!!"

_Flashback... again again..._

And finally, the Magic Spaghetti was the most powerful of them all. It could bend the very forces of reality.

However, when Double D lost his hat, these items were scattered all over the globe. Together, these foods could really stop the universe from collapsing. The Eds must recover the Spaghetti, Taco, and Sandvich, then activate them to save the universe from appending doom.

_End the not-really-a-flashback-flashback_

"You must retrieve the Spaghetti and the Taco, and the Sandvich. Our magical Shamans can detect them on the globe." Mr. Imanidiot said. "But until then, let's play a game called 'Say-something-incredibly-stupid-and-random!'"

"I'll go first!" Ed said. "I played ping-pong with a pancake!"

"My favorite video game was Guitar Zero!" Double D said.

"guh8rasum468c!" Eddy said.

"Chicken noodle soup!" Mr. Imanidiot said.

"You ain't got the guts!" Ed said.

And the game went on for a long while... So let's see how Jimmy, Kevin, and Leo are doing!

**In the Cul-de-Sac**

Kevin panted as he ran freakishly slow from the super-macho fighter and the skillful swordsman behind him. For some reason, he was chased _all _the way to Alaska. And for another stupid reason, he was only in his Unicorn-and-Heart underwear.

"Why am I wearing Unicorn and Heart underwear?!" Kevin complained.

"**ME SMASH YOU!!**" Jimmy yelled. "**ME SMASH YOU SO MUCH, THAT ROLFY BOYS HELP CREATE WALL!**"

For some reason, the Rolfy Boys (Made up of 4 guys, including Rolf) started getting concrete, bricks, and for some odd reason, cookies as they started building a brick wall.

And with that, Alaska blew up violently.

Kevin stood with "What the heck" expression. Then he backed away slowly...

THEN RAN!

"After the dork!" Leo said from the melted ice. The Rolfy Boys, Jimmy, and Leo all bashed from the ice and decided to go beat up Kevin.

**Back with the Eds...**

"The hot-dog takes anvil when he has a stomach flu!" Eddy said.

"Chicken wings are very tasty underwater!" Mr. Imanidiot said.

A Plank in white-fur walked in on them. "Mr. Imanidiot,"

Everyone laughed.

"We have found the location of the spaghetti. It's in... A CEREAL BOX IN NEW YORK!!"

"How do we get there?" Ed asked.

The shaman laughed. "Like this."

**KA-BOOOOOM!!!**

"How'd we end up here?!" Double D said, as they were now on a conveyor belt in a cereal box-factory. "This defies all physics!"

"Physics are for Chicken-people-head." Eddy said dumbly. As if by magic, the building turned upside-down.

"EAAAAALP!!!"

Ed and Double D fell onto the ceiling, and Eddy randomly landed of a running ceiling fan.

"PAIN!! PAIN!! PAIN!! I TAKE IT BACK! I TAKE IT BACK!!" Eddy screamed.

The building turned right-side-up again.

Ed and Double D safely landed in cereal boxes, and Eddy landed head-first into a random bear-trap.

"OWCHIES!!"

"Quit being in pain Eddy, and let's go get some Spaghetti!" Ed said, picking Eddy up by his mangled foot.

"IT BURNZ WHEN YOU TOUCH ME!" Eddy yelled at the top of his lungs.

Double D, digging into a cereal box, said, "I found the Spaghetti!"

Double D pulled out of the cereal box...

...

A plate of pasta under plastic wrap.

"**HOORAH!!!**" All the Eds said at once.

...

...

...

"By the way, what did the dickie of Music have any thing to do with this?" Double D asked.

**Kevin's never going to survive, is he?**

**MAGIC TACO IS NEXT!**


	6. Interlude 1: Eddy Can't Drive

**Interlude 1: Eddy Can't Drive**

**Even though I have Writer's Block, I can still update WDDLHH, because I don't have to think at all! I just let my mind wander off to the dangerously insane part of my brain...**

**Horrifying...**

**Anyways, back to the show!**

In the last chapter, the Eds had finally gotten the Spaghetti of Epicness. However, little do they know, an ever so random dude with an overly sized picnic basket was after them.

This... whatever-it-was stared at the running Eds as they drove in a mini-van on a highway, with the Spaghetti in Ed's hands. Eddy was steering, for some reason.

"EDDY, YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO DRIVE!!"

"I ARE 2 YOUNG 2 DO ALOTTA THANGS, MAH FRIEND!"

"Shouting is completely unnecessary, Mr. McGee. Since the mini-van is a small vehicle with limited space, yelling will only damage the fragile yet important ear drums of our body."

The other Eds stared at Ed.

"Awkward..." Double D said. He suddenly realized that Eddy was driving on the wrong side of the lane, running over poor children and babies that happened to be on the road. "Eddy! You're running over pedestrians!!"

"Duh-wut?" Eddy asked dumbly. He randomly decided to rip the steering wheel right off of the car. So then the car...

CRASHED INTO A TRUCK!!!

"Medic!" Eddy yelled like a soldier in the army.

**While the Ed-boys wait for a paramedic to show up (again), let's see how the Cul-de-sac kids are doing... (this is gonna end badly...)**

Running away from the now 5 killers, Kevin was now in South Africa.

"How did I end in South Africa? It's on the other side of the world from Alaska!!" Kevin said, with many snorts.

He ran past several blood-thirsty lions, who decided to go chase after him. And later, a few more animals, like...

Zebras...

Seals...

Giant-man eating stools...

Some random people from Pandora...

Oops, I forgot.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar.**

There. Anyways, even though most of those people are not even native to South Africa, they still decided to chase Kevin to end of the universe for who-knows how long.

**We've been here a hundred times, so lets see how the other kids are doing...**

Sarah and Nazz were randomly playing "Rock, Paper, Scissors."

And Plank had already conquered the solar system, and now battling the evil moon warriors of Havesomemoredinner Planet.

**Nothing out of the ordinary... So let's go to some infomercials while we wait for something interesting to happen.**

**BTRZZZ!!**

Station 52: Metallica Song Parodies.

**_SMASHIN' THROUGH SPAGHETTI!_**

**_EATIN' MORE SPAGHETTI!_**

**_CANNOT STOP THE SPA-GHET-TI! _[1]**

Station 58: The Flame Show

"Here we have some random flame for some random fiction. We don't know the name of the fiction, but the Intials are WSSICNICWHUID! It says-

**_KA-BOOM!!!_**

"Weird flames these days..."

Station 63: th chnnl wth n vwls

"hll. M nm s crl. m frnd clld dcky sd 'y whts p?'" **[2]**

**Okay... Let's get back with the Eds...**

The Eds are now on the highway again, after the paramedic healed them. Eddy was now missing a foot and eye, because he was hitting on that weird girl again.

"You know Eddy, you should really think twice before flirting. Especially when we're in a K rated fiction." Ed said, breaking the forth wall.

The Universe fell apart more.

"NO ED!! YOU BROKE THE 4th WALL!!" Double D yelled. "I NEED TO GO BACK IN TIME TO PREVENT YOU FROM EVER DOING THIS!!" Double D randomly jumped into a random portal that appeared out of nowhere.

He suddenly landed in the minivan from before. Before the other Eds could notice, Double D threw out the other Double D out of the window.'

"You know Eddy, you should-"

Double D gave Ed the glare of DOOOOOOM!!!

Ed became silent.

"Anyways, we should really be looking for that taco now." Double D said.

"Whut taco?" Eddy asked, as he ran over several cartoon characters from cartoons like "Chowder," "Flapjack," "Adventure Time," and several other cartoons that most of the older generation say "What the-" to.

"The magic taco we need to get my hat back."

"Why'd you need a hat? Buckets are so fashionable these days!"

"That's not the point Eddy."

Eddy randomly ran over a house. "NO U!!"

"Awkward..." Ed said.

"NOW U ALL BE QUIETZ WHILE I DRIVE DIS CAR 2 TEH GREAT... umm... er... PYRAMIDS!!" Eddy commanded, as he stepped on the gas pedal, going inter hyperspeed.

**[1]: Truth be told, I HATE Metal music; including Metallica (insert me getting beaten up by blunt objects). So, instead of their song, "Battery" about mutilating corpses, using power to crush 'non-believers,' and ****yelling about how the weak will be torn to shreds in an incredibly gory manner, (seriously, who listens to this kinda stuff?!) I changed to lyrics to be about how one loves his Spaghetti. Why? It fits with the 2nd Dickie of life, and who _doesn't _like spaghetti?**

**[2]: Cookie for anyone who can translate all that.**

**Since I have Writer's block and all, I'll only be updating this for a while, so don't expect anything else (except for a TF2 crackfic later)**

**!ytinasni ym weiveR**

**If you can read the above sentence, YOU ARE SMRT!! S-M-A... Other letters, SMRT!!**


	7. 3rd Dickie of Life: Taco

**3rd Dickie of Life: Taco**

**Okay, huge delay. Writer's block, yada yada yada. Let's just get on with this Not-very epicly insane fiction... of DOOM! Now with 150% more insanity and CAPS LOCK**

"BEHOLD GENTLEMEN!" Eddy yelled. "WE ARE AT THE PYRAMIDS!"

"You don't have to yell!" Double D yelled back.

"WELL I FEEL LIKE YELLING!" Eddy yelled.

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO THOUGH." Double D yelled.

Ed randomly yelled, "EVERY TIME YOU YELL A BABY LOSES HIS BELLYBUTTON. IT'S TRUE. LOOK AT CBNSM!"

"WHY ARE WE YELLING?"

"I LIKE CHEESE!"

"NO U!"

"PIT SWAGGLE OFF PUTRID HAM CRYSTALS!"

"I HATE PIRATES, BUT I LOVE BUCCANEERS!"

"JIMMY PUNCHED OUT ALL OF MY BLOOD!"

"MY BLOOD NEEDS SOME PUNCHING!"

**The Eds continued to scream... Let's look at something else!**

**1600 hours  
The Great Pyramids...**

"HELP ME!" Kevin yelled, running away from his hunters. Kevin randomly crashed into Eddy's van, which happened to be there. "EDDY! HELP ME!

"KEVIN'S HERE! LET'S PUNCH OUT HIS BLOOD INSTEAD OF THIS STEAK'S!"

"WHY DOES EVERYTHING BAD HAPPEN TO ME?" Kevin yelled.

An atomic nuke landed on his head.

But it didn't go off.

"Well that failed." Ed said. "I think we should go inside the pyramids now."

The other Eds agreed. After backing the car up into an orphanage that happened to be there, the Eds walked out of their van.

It proceeded to explode into ittay-bittay pieces.

"... I'm not even going to ask." Double D said.

"I always wanted to inject this Steak! With a needle!" Eddy sang. "I always wanted to inject my car! With a needle!"

"...Not going to ask..." Double D said.

Ed randomly tripped over the magic taco. "That was way too easy. There has to be a catch."

**"BUT THERE IS."** A loud, horrifying voice called out. **"IN ORDER TO GET THE MAGIC TACO, YOU MUST DEFEAT ME IN 3 CHALLENGES."**

"We can totally take on 4!" Eddy yelled.

**"FOUR IT IS THEN. YOUR FIRST CHALLENGE... IS TO DEFEAT MY MINIONS! MWAHAHA!"**

A zombie burst out of the ground, and started dancing.

Eddy jumped overly-dramatically into the air, and round-house kicked the undead's head off.

"I put the P in Pwned!" Eddy said.

**"CONGRATULATIONS! NOW YOUR SECOND CHALLENGE... DODGE THIS HUGE BOULDER FOR NO APPARANT REASON!"**

A random boulder fell on Kevin.

**"WELL... I SUPPOSE THAT COUNTS. YOUR THIRD CHALLENGE... READ SAPPY ROMANCE NOVELS WITHOUT DYING."**

This was obviously the biggest challenge for the heroes.

"NOO!"

**Aproximatly NINE THOUSAND! Romance novels later...**

"Almost... there..." Eddy said. "I CAN'T DO IT!" Eddy took a stick of dynamite, and hit himself in the head, knocking himself out. Why the dynamite didn't go off, no one knows.

"Don't worry! I will save you!" Ed said. He grabbed a blue blanked, tied it around his neck, choked himself by accident, and knocked himself out.

**"YOU ARE THE LAST ONE, LITTLE BUCKETHEAD. READ THAT LAST SENTENCE."**

Double D gulped. He proceeded to pull out the last book, called "Twilight: The Unofficial Not-as-Romantic-Yet-Somewhat-Romantic-in-a-strange-"Romantic"-Way-If-You-Know-What-I-Mean Release."

_"'I hate people, but I love gatherings.' Bella said, cleaning the blood of her machete. 'I'll destroy any person for you, my undead love.'_

_'Wait, I'M UNDEAD?' Edward said, horrified. "EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE!' He proceeded to jump off a bridge, but landed on top of a helicoptor._

_'Well I guess it's time to visit that hot werewolf guy.' Bella said."_

**"IMPRESSIVE. NOW YOUR LAST CHALLENGE... IS TO DEFEAT ME IN A DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION DELUXE ULTRA HIGH-DEFINITION LIMITED EDITION MEGA SUPER FUN-TIME 2!"**

And suddenly, a mighty Warrior appeared before Double D. "Now we dance!"

A DDRDUHDLEMSFT2 game appeared.

The mysterious Warrior selected "Do you like waffles?"

The ultimate song... had no dance moves. Not until the 30 second melody was nearly over did the two see an UP signal.

Double D stepped on it on time, while the warrior epically failed.

**"NOO! MY DDRDUHDEMSFT2 RECORD IS GONE!"**

The Warrior then explodinated into many pieces, leaving only a taco behind.

"Yes! The worm has turned, my friends! Now we celebrate!" Double D said, picking up the taco.

Things were going better for the trio.

**Well, that was a lot more random than I intended. But then again, the chapters will get more random with each chapter.**

**kythnksbai!**


	8. 4th Dickie of Life: SANDWICH!

**4th Dickie of Life: Sandwich**

**Sandwiches rock. BTW, glad to see you guys don't hate me for leaving for a _few_ months. :)**

"... The van blew up..." Double D said, staring at the wreckage.

"Now what?" Ed said, regaining consciousness. "How are we going to get to the Sandwich?"

"Well..." Eddy said. "We can always rely on bad plot devices! They always save characters in other shows!"

Jimmy punched Kevin's blood out so hard that it flew in front of the Eds, and transformed into a Spaceship.

"See? It works!" Eddy said, without yelling.

The 3 Ed-boys jumped into the ship. Eddy pressed a random button. Suddenly, a huge computer monitor was slowly lowered down... then dropped. The monitor, now broken, had a face on it that looked like "X_x"

A loud booming voice said. "EPIC FAILURE. NOW YOU MUST BE PUNISHED!"

A giant monster that was being controlled by Plank's evil twin, Knalp, crushed the ship. "YOU HAVE BEEN PUNISHED EPICALLY!" The monster then danced, and did a cannonball into a lake, where the shock-wave launched an airplane into the air, and right next to the Eds.

"Horray for bad plot devices!" Eddy said. The trio proceeded to walk into said plane. But Double D realized something.

"The Planks never told us where the Sandwich is." He said.

"Hello...? Bad plot devices." Eddy replied. Pressing a random button. Within several seconds, the plane flew into the ocean. Somehow, the Eds could breath underwater.

"How is this-" Ed was interrupted by Double D pointing at the same Cat from chapter 3, who was now standing next to a machine that had "WATERPROOF OXYGEN MAKER 9000!" on it.

"Well..." Double D said. "Now where do we go?"

A sandwich fell into the ruins of Atlantis. "TO ATLANTIS!" Eddy screamed, grabbing the other Eds by their necks, and dragging them across the sand.

**Due to the water's friction, Eddy could only run at .25 miles per hour. So while we wait, we shall return to... Plank?**

Plank smirked. "The world is under our control. We have taken over half the universe, and left the other half in poverty.

Another Plank corrected him. "The other half of the universe doesn't have a money system."

"WHO ASKED YOU!" Plank shot laser beams out of his eyes at the plank and he turned into ashes. "Well, now that Derrick is out of the way," Plank turned to a mysterious man with a picnic basket "Yogi."

"Yes boss?" A bear said. He was wearing a hat, and was from a different dimension.

"Not you Yogi!" Plank said, irritated.

"Whoops. Wrong dimension." Yogi Bear jumped into a portal and disappeared.

"Don't worry, king Plank. The world will be under your control soon. Once those fools are defeated, nothing will stop us!" Another plank said, apparently named Yogi.

"Excellent..." Plank evilly grined. "We shall have our salavation!"

**O_o Weird... can we just get back to the Eds now?'**

"BEHOLD! THE GREAT CITY OF ATLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANTIS!" Eddy yelled. His yell was so loud, it caused a nearby glass building to shatter into pieces, and fall on top of a hermit crab. "Now where's mah sammich?"

"Are you feeling well Eddy?" Double D asked. "Your screaming has increased by at least 50%.

"ROTFLOL" Eddy yelled bizarrely, starting to break dance.

Suddenly, Jimmy burst from the sand. "Sup, guys." He said in a **VERY **buff tone. "I heard you needed a sandwich?"

Ed nodded. "Yes. We need a sandwich which we believe is located here."

Jimmy nodded. "Follow me. Just be careful, as there is a fearsome monster here."

The Eds followed Jimmy to the inner palace of Atlantis. The followed him to the King's room, where a sandwich was sitting on the King's chair.

"Well, I guess we should take it." Double D said. He walked up to the chair, and grabbed the sandwich.

Suddenly, the Kraken destroyed the palace, and roared loudly!

"THE KRAKEN!" Eddy yelled. "WE MUST USE OUR LEET SKILLZ TO DEFEAT IT! BAD POKEMON PARODIES! **GO!**"

**Wild Kraken Appeared!**

**Eddy: Go Red Dragon!  
Double D: Go Football Zombie! (from Plants VS Zombies)  
Ed: Go Baron Bon Beef Dip!  
Jimmy: Go Pancakes!**

**What will Red Dragon Do?  
Fight-**

**FLAMETHROWA! -****  
Claw  
Epic Tail Swipe  
Epicer Tail Swipe**

**What will Football Zombie Do?  
Fight-**

**Nom Nom Nom  
Football Throw  
Tackle -**

**What will Baron Bon Beef Dip Do?  
Fight-**

**Pie Throw  
LAZAR BEEEMS!  
Chicken Pot Pie Throw  
Mayo Throw**

**What will Pancakes Do?  
Item**

**Pancakes -**

**On who?**

**Red Dragon  
Football Zombie  
Baron Bon Beef Dip-**

**Kraken uses EPIC D3ATH!**

**Pancakes take 400,000 damage. So does Jimmy.**

**Jimmy: NO! I HAVE BEEN DEFEATED! Ah well. I'm just gonna go beat up Kevin.**

**Jimmy left the battle to beat the living cookies out of Kevin!**

**Pancakes give Pancakes to Baron Bon Beef Dip! His next attack will become a Critical Hit!**

**Red Dragon uses Flamethrower! But it failed!**

**Football Zombie Tackles the Kraken!**

**Kraken takes 1 Damage**

**Kraken DIES.**

**Kraken: OH NOEZ!11!1!one!eleven!**

**Red Dragon gains 2 EXP**

**Football Zombie gains EXP**

**Baron Bon Beef Dip gains -5 EXP**

"YES!" Eddy yelled (AGAIN). "WE GOTZ THE ULTIMATE SANDWICH!"

"Our quest is nearly over!" Double D said. "Now we have to get back to the Planks."

And they magically teleported to the Planks.

"Welcome. The foods will now bond into one." Mr. Imanidiot said. The Taco, Sandwich, and Spaghetti floated, and transformed into a Sandghettico. "Unfortunetally, the power of the Sandghettico is not enough. You see, a demonic being is channeling a spell to keep the Sandghettico from reverting everything."

Double D raised an eyebrow. "Who is this being?"

"... _Plank_."

**GASP! PLANK IS GOING TO KILL US ALL! Well, just them.**

**Okay, so recap:**

**The Eds started their not-so-Epic Journey by going to the BPS field and going to the hospital. They then went to the moon to fight moon men and they launched into Omadickie where they met the Planks. They learned about the 3 superfoods, and went to retrieve them, fighting epic warriors, bear traps, and the Kraken. Now back at Omadickie, they discover that Plank is preventing the heroes from returning everything to normal! What will happen next? Find out in "When Double D Loses His Hat!"**


	9. Interlude 2: Eddy's Song of Singfulness

**Stupid fanfiction Document Manager. Had to do this stupid chatper TWICE because the dumb website decided to screw up on me. Now I'm not in a good mood, so sorry if this chapter is lacking. I'm not good at making fun while mad. :(**

**Chapter 9: Interlude 2: Eddy's Song of Singfulness**

**BTW: This song is somewhat not funny, buy I'll promise the next chapter turns out much funnier**

Double D questioned why Plank would keep them from reverting the world. "Why is Plank doing this?

"BABY! BABY! BABY! YOOOOOOOOUUU ARE, BABY, BABY, BABY! YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUU FAIL! BABY, BABY, BABY IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WANT, TO EAT BABIES, BABIES" Eddy randomly sang.

Ed raised his one eyebrow. "Okay..." He looked back at Mr. Imanidiot. "What do we do?"

Mr. Imanidiot sighed. "I am not sure, young one. It won't be long now until the missing hat effect is permanent."

"How long will it be?" Double D asked.

"... 2, 3 hours tops."

"..."

"..."

"... Well okay. But should we attack Plank's citadel of something?"

"GOOD IDEA ED!" Eddy yelled at the top of his lungs. He yelled so loud it caused the moon to crash into the sun because it was so annoyed. "MR. PLANK DOOD, YOU GATHER UP THE CITIZENS AND HELP US RAID PLANK'S CASTLE! US EDS WILL RUSH IN DURING THE ONSLAUGHT, AND DEFEAT PLANK! And then, we'll all have a picinic and look back on this and say 'What happened?'"

Eddy randomly walked onto a stage. Another several thousand planks watch the show.

"E'hem." Eddy cleared his voice. "I know it looks like the end of everything, but how's about we try to have fun one last time before we storm Plank's evil Citadel of evilness?"

**WARNING: SOMEWHAT SERIOUS SONG COMING UP**

Eddy's song began slow. Double D slowly played his guitar, while Ed softly tapped the cymbals on his drums. Eddy sighed, and sang in a peaceful voice. His voice sounded so majestic, that some random guy in Asia was crying tears that caused the Nile River.

**Verse 1**

**It all started on one afternoon.  
We were all nobodies.  
I never really knew.  
What it would be like.**

**What it would be like,  
Fighting off rangers  
and squids of great might.  
Now our world's in danger.**

**We swore to protect  
This precious planet we live in.  
We are gonna become rejects.  
But we must save this world we reside in.**

**Yeah...  
Yeah...  
Yeah...**

**Chrous intro**

**The world had been our oyster.  
The world had been our home.  
This world had been our, paradise.  
****And I'm not gonna let that go, go, go, go, go!**

The song sped up, but not by a whole lot. Now Double D started playing more freely, and Ed started to slam harder on his drums. Eddy, while singing louder and a bit deeper, still had his angelic voice.

**Chorus**

**As meteors, rained from the sky! (from the sky...)  
****We will storm that citadel tonight! (Tonight...)  
Well never back down from this fight! (From this fight...)  
We'll make it through alright! (Through alright...)**

**We'll lose many of our own kind! (our own kind...)  
It's all good, for they will find! (they will find...)  
Salivation for mankind! (manking...)  
Because this will war begins tonight! (begins tonight...)**

**Verse 2**

**I'd love to stay, and chitchat.  
Please don't cry, mother  
Mom, we're goin' away, and might not come back.  
But mother, please, don't bother.**

**Crying because I'm gonna fight  
Gonna save this world, once more  
For everything I know is right.  
That's why I'm walkin' out of the door...**

**Yeah...  
Yeah...  
Yeah...**

**Chrous intro**

**The world had been our oyster.  
The world had been our home.  
This world had been our, paradise.  
****And I'm not gonna let that go, go, go, go, go!**

**Chorus**

**As meteors, rained from the sky! (from the sky...)  
****We will storm that citadel tonight! (Tonight...)  
Well never back down from this fight! (From this fight...)  
We'll make it through alright! (Through alright...)**

**We'll lose many of our own kind! (our own kind...)  
It's all good, for they will find! (they will find...)  
Salivation for mankind! (manking...)  
Because this will war begins tonight! (begins tonight...)**

The song started to slow down again. Eddy's voice was barely a whisper, but kept it holiness of his voice.

**Bridge**

******Fate is on our side  
Tonight, everything will turn out alright.  
This evil being doesn't make me ride  
The train out of town all night.**

Eddy's voice became louder

**********Fate is on our side  
Tonight, everything will turn out alright.  
This evil being doesn't make me ride  
The train out of town all night.**

**All niiiiiiiight!**

Double D started playing a guitar solo with his pure awesomeness. His awesomeness was so awesome, the guitar started to levitate and played itself. Double D proceeded to grab a book and read

**Alright (YEAH YEAH!) Alright (YEAH YEAH!) Alright (YEAH YEAH!) Alright (YEAH! YEAH!)**

**Chorus**

**As meteors, rained from the sky! (from the sky...)  
****We will storm that citadel tonight! (Tonight...)  
Well never back down from this fight! (From this fight...)  
We'll make it through alright! (Through alright...)**

**We'll lose many of our own kind! (our own kind...)  
It's all good, for they will find! (they will find...)  
Salivation for mankind! (mankind...)  
Because this will war begins tonight! (begins tonight...)**

Double D took his guitar, and smashed Eddy's head in. "YES! I FEEL SO ALIVE!"

Mr. Imanidiot walked up to Double D. "Good job. We'll attack the citadel soon. Tonight, Plank's kingdom will fall. And then, we'll eat cheese. And then after that, we'll shoot lasers. And then-"

"I GET IT!" Double D yelled.

"Oh... okay."

**Well this was really lacking in my opinion. Not really funny, but oh well. I'm sure the next chapter will be much funnier.**

**PS: ZOMBIES! THEY FOLLOW ME EVERYWHERE. Well, at least in _your _world. :D**


	10. 5th Dickie of Life: Kitty!

**Well, that was the quickest update, if I do say so myself! *Gives self a medal that says "IMMA CAT DEAL WITH IT, STUPID"* And speaking of cats, this chapter is great for you cat-lovers and/or crazy cat ladies that live all alone at about 70 years of age with only about 8 cats. So cat lovers, enjoy. Crazy Cat ladies, isn't Snowflake pooping on your carpet right now?**

**Wait... Who are you! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT CHAINSAW? HELP ME! IT BURNS ME WHEN YOU FAIL AT SAWWING OFF MY LEGS! MY TINY TINY LEGS! I must find the Ed-boys! *runs away***

**Chapter 10: The 5th Dickie of Life: Kittens!**

"THE TIME IS NOW!" Eddy yelled. "TODAY IS THE DAY WE ATTACK PLANK AND END HIS REIGN OF TERROR!"

However, Ed tapped him on the shoulder. "Eddy, there's a cat in a Shakespeare costume running towards us."

"OH EM GEE! WHERE?" Eddy saw said cat (Hey, it's me! :D) and screamed like a deranged fangirl. "OH EM GEE ME WANT!" He grabbed the kitten and hugged it so hard that he started turning blue.

"un... hand me... you... evil... being..." The cat choked out. Eddy wouldn't listen. So the cat pulled a spider out of nowhere, and dropped it on Eddy's head.

"HELP MEZ! MOMMA SAID NEBUR PLAY WIT SPY-DERS!" Eddy said bizarrely. The Spider bit him. "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!"

Double D stared at the talking cat. "What did you just do?"

"I dropped a Brazilian Wandering Spider on your friend's head. They're the most poisonous spider in the world. I'm predicting that it'll only take a few minutes before Eddy dies a horrible death." The cat replied. "But forget about him for a second. I need your help! That Plank dude took over my account! I can no longer control your universe! Plank does! And in order to bring it back to normal, we have to get Plank to reveal the new password!"

"But how are we going to defeat him? All we have is an army filled with wooden boards." Ed asked.

"No. All we have is an army filled with wooden boards and _kittens!_" The ex-author replied. Suddenly, Persian cats, Black Cats, Tigers, Lions, and housecats burst from the ground and roared/meowed. "These beasts shall aid us!"

"But how do we, the Eds, defeat Plank when he's all powerful?" Double D asked.

"I suspected as such." Shakespeare Kitten said. "That's why you have me. I can give you the power you need to defeat Plank. Fall onto your knees."

Ed and Double D slowly got onto their knees, while Eddy just fell down.

"Edward Horace (insert last name here), I will grant you the strength of that wrestler who lives down the street." The cat said dramatically. He placed his paw on Ed's forehead, as red energy channeled from the cat into Ed.

"Eddward Marian (insert last name here), I will grant you the intellect of the scientist who exploded just 2 minutes ago." The cat said. He did the same thing to Double D, but this time blue energy channeled from him.

"Eddy Skipper (insert last name here), I will grant you the agility of the ninja who got his butt kicked in a staring contest." The cat did the same thing, but with green energy. "Rise up."

And the Ed boys rose.

But then Eddy died from the spider bite.

"Whoops. Sorry about that." The cat took out a gun (Water gun!) and shot Eddy. Eddy came back to life. "Now... I shall return you all to normal. But it will only last long enough for you to storm the fortress and defeat Plank." The author took out a staff from nowhere, and hit each Ed-boy in the head with it. "How do you all feel?"

Eddy wasn't happy from the cat hitting him in the head with a big staff. "WHY YOU LITTLE-" Eddy just realized what he said. "Hey! I'm back to normal!"

"Gravy!" Ed said in agreement.

"How was that possible?" Double D asked himself. He looked at the cat. "Now what's the plan?"

"Me and my army of cats will storm the outside guards. Then Mr. Imanidiot-"

The Eds laughed.

"Will fight off the guards inside with the plank army. Then, you guys will attack Plank inside. But be warned, he has grown execptionally powerful. You will need to work together to defeat him."

Mr. Imanidiot walked by. "Sir, the forces are all assembled! Let's do this!"

"CHAAAARGE!" Eddy yelled. He sounded a random flute that happened to be there. "To Plank's Fortress!"

"But how do we get there?" Double D asked. "We're in Japan."

"Hello!" The cat said. "I may not be in control of the story anymore, but I can still do _this!_"

**POW! Haha!**

Now the entire cat and wood army was right in front of Plank's citadel. "Let's get him Boyo's!" Eddy said with determination.

Ed jumped up high into the air and came down with his fist. When his fist hit the ground, it released a shock wave that damaged all the enemy Planks. "Cool! Now I can become Wonder-Ed! All shall bow down before my fists of bacon!"

"Don't waste your energy, Ed!" Shakespeare Kitten said. "Just go and find that termite food! And be sure to repay him for all he's done!"

"What did he do?" Ed asked.

"... HE ATE MY TURTLE!"

Ed's eyes widened in fear. "NO NOT THE TURTLE! PLANK WILL PAY WITH HIS CRAYON-DRAWN EYEBALLS!"

"Go go go!" The kitten yelled.

And the Eds left. The epic battle would soon begin.

**Plank: Hello, "readers." I do not know who you are, nor do I care. You shall all bow down before me. BOW BEFORE ME YOU FOOLS. Hey, I control your world too, I can make the economy collapse right now. I CAN MAKE YOU HOMELESS. By the way, I was told I needed to show you these comments of this pathetic story...**

**"Make no mistake. This story is messed up." -Abraham Lincoln**

**"I'm ashamed that I read this. I must disinfect my eyeballs. Wait, why are you quoting-" -Albert Einstein**

**"NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM" -Parry Gripp**

**Plank: Well, I've been told that there are only 2-3 chapters left. But worry not, as this idiotic cat will still make these dreaded EEnE fictions. So sleep soundly tonight, sleep soundly the next day as a hobo, and ****Happy Halloween.**


	11. An Explanation On What Just Happened

**Pst! Hey! It's me, SK! It won't be long until Plank comes back, so I gotta make this quick. This chapter isn't exactly going to be the fight scene, but the next chapter will! I just want to give you a brief explanation HOW all this happened. Yes, somehow this will make sense one way or another. By the way, a cameo of some random guy from a random game makes an appeareance. Oh wait... OH NO! PLANK!**

**Plank: How dare you attempt to edit the story while I left this computer on!**

**HELP ME! EEEK! *runs away like a good little kitty***

**Plank: Now... how do delete that Author's note... It obviously isn't that Backspace button... I'll figure it out later...**

**Chapter 11: An Explanation On What Just Happened.**

The Eds quietly snook past the guards. Well, not _quietly. _They just bribed them with some tomatoes and said "Tell Plank NOTHING."

"I think I see evil Plank's door of evilness!" Ed said happily.

"Ed, I know it's been a long day of you not being yourself; but can we be serious for just 1 minute?" Eddy asked.

"But look! It's Plank's evil door of evillness! It's so evil that we need an entirely new word to describe it!" Ed said, horrified. "It's... it's... **EBIL!**"

Double D looked at the direction Ed was starting to literally cry over. Indeed, it was Plank's door. Mainly because it had "Plank's Door" painted on it. "This way, gentlemen!"

When they got to the door, it was locked. "How do we get in?" Ed asked dumbly.

"I'll show ya!" Eddy said. He grabbed Ed, and used him as a battering ram to smash the doors down. "Man I missed doing that!"

And they saw Plank. His wooden body had grown arms and legs, and was currently trying to type something on a laptop.

"What the heck is this 'Divided We Fall' story?" Plank asked himself. He was browsing and deleting Shakespeare's Kitten's current stories that he was working on. "Looks like one of those stupid stories that cat wrote. Hmm... 12,764 words? TRASH!" He deleted said story.

**NOO! I'LL SMASH YOU TO BITS!**

"How did you get in that laptop?" Plank asked the kitten. The bold stuff your reading was indeed meant to be there.

**THAT DOESN'T MATTER! YOU EVIL, EVIL, EVIL... EBIL PIECE OF WOOD! I'LL SMASH YOU TO BITS! AND THEN GLUE YOU BACK TOGETHER, THEN SMASH YOU TO BITS AGAIN! THEN I'LL USE TAPE TO TAPE YOU BACK TOGETHER, THEN I'LL SMASH YOU TO BITS AGAIN! AND THEN I'LL USE STAPLES, AND COVER YOU IN SOME KIND OF INDESTRUCTI-GLUE. THEN I'LL SMASH YOU TO BITS AGAIN! AND THEN-**

Plank shut off the laptop in confusion. "That was weird..."

"PLANK!" Ed yelled. "YOUR REIGN OF TERROR ENDS NOW! HY-YAH!" He jumped into the air. But someone left the window open, so a pigeon flew in, crashed into Ed, and exploded. "Ow!"

"I've been expecting you all..." Plank said. "By now you must be wondering how all this happened."

"Not really." Eddy said.

"SILENCE!" Plank screamed. "Once upon a time, I was the best pal of Jonny 2x4. However, over the years we developed a special connection that allowed me to control his mind. You all know that day everyone was sick besides you guys? Jonny wasn't sick. I had him travel to a special land called "Authorsville," and made him attack some poor fool named "Shakespeare Kitten."

"Of all people, why him?" Double D asked.

"Because everyone else had dangerous weaponry of some sort. Two sisters, or I think they're sisters, had giant death mallets, there was one man that looked like goku and shot lasers from his palms, and a ton of others. This one author looked very weak. But let's face it, when you show up as a cat in a Shakespeare costume, you don't look to threatening at all.

**I HEARD THAT. **The kitten yelled from inside his laptop.

"Shut up. No one cares about you." Plank commanded. "Anyways, after Jonny overpowered that author, I had him trapped in his basement, while I took over his identity. Authors are powerful beings. They have power of some sort. This power comes in many forms. They can use weapons that even the military cannot use. They can use the finest magic and power, and use it all for their own creative purposes. Sickening... So I stole this author's power and sent a master thief to steal Double D's hat. I knew that his hats were one of the many artifacts that kept the universe in place. As long as he didn't have his hat, the world could not function properly. So now, when the missing hat effect becomes permanent, no one will stop me when I take over Authorsville with my plank army! All shall bow down before the might of Plank! AHAHAHA!"

"YOU EVIL BOARD THING!" Ed yelled, horrified. "We must defeat Plank to save Authorsville and the Cul-de-Sac!"

"Ed, I know how we can stop this madness." Double D said. He noticed his hat in a glass box behind Plank. "If I can put on my hat, everything will go back to normal. If we can be able to open that box over there, we can use my hat to defeat Plank!"

"Good thinking sockhead." Eddy said.

"But it won't matter." Plank said, eavesdropping. "Not in my ultimate form!" Suddenly, green and red energy surrounded Plank. He transformed into a 8 foot tall demon. He looked like a human with a very muscular upper body. He was shirtless, but he had some shoulder armor as well as metal gloves. Metal pants protected his legs and steel boots held his feet. On top of his head, was a helmet. Plank's skin was also a sickly shade of blue, plus he was wielding a large demonic axe. "You cannot defeat me!"

"Oh yeah? Think again!"

Suddenly, Jimmy dropped from the sky, still buff as ever. "**You're going down, Plank!**" he said.

Shakespeare Kitten burst out from the laptop and teleported next to the Eds. He stood up on his hind legs and pulled out a staff out of no where. "You will pay for all you have done!"

A small tornado appeared. When it subdued, Leo (that OC that was beating up Kevin with Jimmy) appeared. "I don't know why I'm here, but you have dishonored all that is good!"

Randomly, a fat Russian dude with a chaingun appeared. "NOW IT'S COWARD KILLING TIME!"

"Were'd he come from?" Eddy asked the kitten.

"What?" The author innocently asked. "This guy is awesome! Besides, he loves sandwiches."

The Russian man correct him. "I believe it is pronounced, _Sandvich_."

"Yeah... whatever Heavy Weapons Guy." SK said.

"7 on 1? That's not fair!" Plank complained like a school girl.

"Fine." SK said. "Sorry, Heavy, you're out of here."

"What? You are stupid, stupid, stupid!" Heavy punched Kevin in the face 'cause he felt like it, then left, grumbling.

Ed turned to Plank. "Now, it's time for your downfall! The battle shall begin!"

Then, all the heroes jumped dramatically, as did Plank as the chapter stopped in a freeze frame.

...

"How long do we have to stay like this?" Leo asked.

"Until the next chapter." Double D replied.

**Hey! It's me again! While we were all in freeze frame, Plank fell asleep, so I turned on his laptop and it was still editing the story! So I'll put in one last Author's note. How was that for random? Well, in the next chapter it'll be 6 against 1! And wow I can't believe how quickly I'm doing these chapters. Go me! Anyways, I should probably find out what the new password is... nah, it ruins the plot.**

**See ya!**


	12. TSC: The Battle of the Bands

**Hello everyone! Here it is, THE DOUBLE D LOOSES HIS HAT SEMI-FINAL CHAPTAR!**

**Ed: NOO!**

**Wait... How am I able to write an A/N again? Plank controls this story...**

**Double D: Be quick! You must complete the Author's Note before that horrible board comes back to kill us all!**

**Ed: KILL US ALL! NOO! IT'S EVEN WORSE THAN THE TIME I BRUSHED MY TEETH!**

**Okay okay! Anyways, this is part 1 of the finale epic chapter of Double D Looses his hat. This chapter will feature the epic duel between 3 pre-teens, a anthropomorphic kitty, a macho-dude, an OC, and some evil demon incarnation of a piece of wood. IN SONG! So enjoy the utter randomness! This chapter is BIGGER THAN THE LAST CHAPTER! :D**

**Chapter 12: The Shadow Challenges Part 1: Battle of the Bands **

**HEY! ONE MORE THING! Check my profile for a very, very, VERY important poll in regard of this fiction! and vote! DO IT. DO IT. DO IT!**

"You have any 8s?" Jimmy asked.

"Nope." Eddy replied.

"Yeah you do! You have 2!" Leo said, looking at Eddy's cards on purpose. In the large amount of time between the last chapter and this one, the characters had gotten bored, so they decided to pass the time.

"YOU LIE!" Eddy yelled, taking out a hammer from no where and smashing it in the poor OC's face. Leo epically flew out the window, and into another bird.

Everyone just stared at the window, then Eddy. Then at the window again, and then at Eddy...

Then at the window...

Then at Ed...

Then at a magic bunny...

Then at some random fat dude who speaks some language that is not native to Earth...

Then at you, the reader...

Plank said, "Do you have any kings?"

"I do not." Double D replied.

Plank suddenly started crying like an itty, bitty baby.

"WHY WHY WHY WHY? WHY CAN I NEVER WIN IN GO FISH? WHY MUST I ALWAYS LOSE IN THIS GAME? WHY WHY WHY?"

"STOP CRYING OVER A DUMB CARD GAME!" Demanded SK.

"STOP TYPING WITH CAPS LOCK ON." sAID eDDY.

And then, Caps lock went off.

"Hey guys, the audience is back." Ed randomly said.

Everyone realized that the chapter had started about 400 words ago, so wasting no time, they all got into battle formations.

"Hahaha!" Plank said. "You may have thought you had me cornered, but you cannot defeat me."

"Sure we can." Eddy said. "I got a Rambo Knife right here; come on let's do it!" He randomly pulled a huge knife out of no where.

Plank laughed in an humored fashion. "Silly human. Knives cannot hurt me! Not while I have..."

He started to strain himself, acting as though he had some serious constipation. Then suddenly, he grew a small mustache. "THE MUSTACHE OF AUTHORITES!" (Pronounced Aw-thor-rites)

"NO!" Double D yelled in fear. "Nothing can destroy one who wears the Mustache of Authorites! Only those who can defeat him in a series of Shadow Challenges can destroy the Mustache!"

Everyone looked at Double D in a disturbed fashion. "What? Don't any of you pay attention in Language Arts?"

"Nope. Because I already know language, and it's not art." Eddy said. "So, what are the Shadow Challenges?"

Double D opened up a large book called "Dummy's Guide to Shadow Challenges Against People Who Wear The Mustache of Authorites."

"Here it is! The first one, is a battle of the bands. The second one is a random Poke'mon duel. And the last one is an intense fight scene." He closed the book and it vanished into thin air. "Let's go gentlemen!"

Suddenly, the characters all appeared on another stage.

Double D's group was on one side, while Plank and several boards were on the other.

Double D was on bass (playing an actual bass; as in the fish); Ed was playing the drums, Eddy had a background guitar and microphone. Shakespeare kitten was now wearing rapper clothes and was holding a microphone. Jimmy was however, eating a burrito while holding a guitar.

Plank was on the mic, while his cronies were on the other instruments.

Eddy started to sing as the song started out strong. For some reason, he also sounded like Elvis Presly. You know; until he died.

**"My adventure started not long ago,  
Just chillin' at my place  
Eatin' chips while watching reruns,  
of Everybody Hates Chri- OW!"**

Plank pushed Eddy out of the way and continued singing. The band members started fighting each other while they played. Plank continued.

**"My evil reign of terror,  
It's something that I do!  
No one can stop me,  
Not even you!"**

**Yeah... I will rule the world!  
Yeah... I will rule the world!  
Yeah... I will rule the world!  
Yeah... I WILL RULE THE ENTIRE WORLD!"**

Suddenly, Jimmy started doing an epic guitar solo of epicness. It was so epic that half the world blew up into itty bitty pieces. Everyone was now practically beating the living crud out of each other. While the fighting continued, SK took the mic and started rapping.

**"HEY!**

**"This day's been messed up  
Everything is screwed up  
now we must drain,  
Plank's Terror reign!**

**"Now I don't know what's goin' on  
But I sure know what has gone  
Downhill from here  
Plus no one will hear  
You scream!****"**

The kitty cat took out a tambourine and started hitting hit against the wall and used it to smash it against Plank's head. Plank started yelling the following verse in anger:

**"YOU WILL PAY EVIL KITTY,  
YOU WILL PAY WITH YOUR LIFE!  
I'LL CRUSH YOUR SPIRIT,  
AND YOUR NON-EXISTANT WIFE!"**

The kitty hissed at the giant demon-thing and back-flipped away. Plank and the kitty fought each other, yelling out parts of the song which were just basically random kung-fu battle cries.

**"HI-YAH!"**

**"HO-HU-WA!"**

**"HOIIII-YABBRABA!"**

**"OBO-GATCHI!"**

**"HAI-YARGH!"**

**"HI-YAH! CHA-WA!"**

**"HI-YA-TRA-GA-FLA-DA!"**

The cat stopped yelling and backflipped away.

**"Silly Plank,  
You can't beat me!  
I'm too fast for you,  
You make the ladies heave!  
Cha-Cha!"**

A random woman who happened to be there looked at Plank, and threw up. Ed slipped on the puke and flew into the opposite drummed, effectively smashing his set.

**"EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!" **Ed yelled.

Ed randomly started doing the worm; Eddy was breakdancing; Double D was impressively tap-dancing; Jimmy was going the Tango with a female plank. Plank and SK freestyled, and the other planks were eaten by the forces-that-be for their horrible dancing.

Ed smashed his drums again. "FINISH HIM!"

Eddy smirked as he grabbed the mike as he adressed the next lines to Plank.

**"And then I saw your face!  
It was very ugly!  
It had no grace!  
It reminds me of Lee!**

**"You can't beat us!  
We're too strong for you,  
And you should not eat us!  
We're high Trans fat, dude!**

**Take it away, Shakespeare!"**

SK took the mike one last time, and recited the verse.

**"And now we end this song  
With a special meaning  
and it's kinda long,  
So we are shortening it**

**"Now I'm hungry!  
So let's finish,  
This weird song  
Cause I want some fish!**

**"YEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH! FIIIIIIII-IIIIIIIIII-IIIIIII-IEEEEEEEEEEEEESHHH!**

**YEAH!"**

Double smiled confidently at the defeated Plank. "I think it would be safe to asumed that we won that challenge."

"Beginner's luck!" Plank claimed. "You still have the next challenge to beat me in! But we'll have to continue next chapter. We can't do it now. So let's cut to the credits!

**HEY! YOU THERE! Plank let me write the A/N for the time being. Oh joyness! :D So anyways, I'd like to name some honorable mentions of the people who helped support this story with their sheer awesomeness(?)**

**Every single one of you that have favorited, reviewed, or alerted the story! Heck, even those of you who just plain READ the story, I thank you. It makes me feel nice to see the traffic spike upwards at times. Now, for some random facts about this story:**

**-This story has gotten 2472 views! (OVAR ONE THOUSAND! :O**

**-8 people have favorited this story!**

**-7 people have this story in their alerts!**

**-Out of all my stories, When Double D Looses His Hat is the 3rd most popular story I have, behind The 4 Swordsmen and Ed or Dare (Both sadly discontinued)**

**Also, check my profile for an important poll regarding this story. It'll be up for as long as this story lasts, SO VOTE NAO! JOIN THIS WEBSITE JUST TO VOTE! DO IT NOW NOW NOW!**

**Okay, now that that is done, I must warn you all that I won't be returning for a while. So beware of me not updating this story for a while.**

**Thank you for reading the story! BAI!**


	13. TSC: Poke'mon Battles and Other Stuff

**Well, after a ton of procrastinating, not too much writing, and a lot of strange ideas, I have finally been able to write chapter 13 of WDDLHH. Wait... THIRTEEN! EEEEKK!**

**Double D: Why are you afraid? Do you have Triskaidekaphobia?**

**What?**

**Double D: The fear of the number 13. Now, if you're scared of the movie or day, "Friday the 13th," then that would mean you have Paraskevidekatriaphobia.**

**...**

**Double D: It's also known as 'friggatriskaidekaphobia.'**

**... you're never going to get a girlfriend. CONTINUING ON TO THE STORY! *pulls a whip out from thin air* YA! YA!**

**Chapter 13: The Shadow Challenges Part 2: Poke'mon Battles and other Stuff**

**ALSO. THE POLL IS STILL UP! VOTE IF YOU HAVEN'T YET! I'LL FIND YOU IF YOU DON'T!**

"I want... you... to want me..." Plank sang to himself, as he listened to his MP3 player. Once again, thanks to a very lazy author, the characters had to find something to do to pass the time. Plank was listening to Cheap Trick songs, Double D, Eddy, and Jimmy were playing Texas Hold 'Em, and Ed and SK were grilling a fish and chicken.

"Is it ready yet? Is it ready yet? Is it ready yet?" SK said repeatedly.

Ed shook his head. While he was a complete dunderhead about everything, if there was one thing he would take very seriously and studied hard enough to rival Einstein about, was his chicken. "Nope. We must wait approximately 5.241562 minutes for the chicken to reach proper crispness."

Meanwhile with the poker game, Double D had $400,000 dollars in chips, Jimmy had $1,337, and Eddy had $1 left.

Eddy was dealt his cards. "ALL IN!" He yelled. He had the Ace of Spades and the King of spades, but since he only had 1 dollar in chips, he threw it onto the table.

"Very well, I will participate." Double D said, placing a single chip into the pile. Jimmy placed a chip into the pot

The next 3 cards were shown. It was a Queen, Jack, and Ten of spades. Eddy had the Royal Flush!

"YES! I'm totally gonna win that pot!" Eddy exclaimed. "Go ahead boys, bet anything you want, because I'll win it!"

Double D shook his head. "Eddy, your out of money. This means that further bets are only going to be between me and Jimmy. If you were to have the highest hand, then you would only get those 3 chips."

"... I hate poker." Eddy said silently.

"FISHY!" SK then ran around the poker table with a grilled fish in his mouth.

Leo randomly flew in through the window. He was also with the same girl who knocked the Eds to the moon all the way back in chapter 3. "You guys will never believe it! I got thrown out the window, a fell flat on my face into concrete. Then, a passing ambulance stopped, and my girlfriend came up and randomly started making out with me-"

"Why are you telling us this?" SK asked.

"Because I need to tell you all something REALLY important. So anyway, then a giant dolphin, burst from the ground...

**2 hours later**

"and finally, we flew in through the window after that mutant 3 headed gorilla hit us with his cash register!"

By now, everyone other than Leo himself had fallen asleep. Double D tiredly woke up. "You have still failed to answer our question."

"YOU DIDN'T PAY ATTENTION! Fine. Let me just get straight to the point. I found your _hat!_" Leo said, showing off the sock hat that could have prevented this entire story. Everyone shot awake with the word "hat."

"WHAT?"

"WHAT?"

"HUH?"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?"

"COOKIE?"

"DOUGH?"

"WHOAWHOAWHOA!"

After 30 minutes of "WHATS?" and "HUHS?" and a single "WIBBLE WABBLE," everyone stopped screaming long enough for them to realize what had happened.

"THE HAT!" Plank realized. "If Double D puts that thing on, it'll be the end of my empire! But I'm wondering how that thing got out of the glass case I had. GIVE ME THAT HAT!"

"No way!" Leo said.

Plank took a giant rocket launcher out of thin air, aimed several death lasers at him, took out a samurai sword out of no where, and opened the windows to let plenty of pigeons fly above Leo's position, ready to drop anchor.

"... here you go." Leo said, giving Plank the hat.

"NOOO! YOU KILLED US ALL!" Ed yelled in a horrified manner.

"Don't worry!" Eddy assured. "We can still get the hat back if we defeat Plank in his shadow challenges!"

"By the way, weren't we supposed to start that challenge like 700 words ago?" SK asked.

Realizing their mistakes, everyone assumed battle positions again.

"Here are the rules for the Poke'mon battle! Only 3 pokemon each. 2 items can be used on each poke'mon total. No revivals. First one to lose all Poke'mon is the loser!"

"Sound fair." Double D said. He pulled a Poke'ball out of no where and threw it. **"Go David the Scout!"**

Suddenly, a 3 foot tall human came out of the Poke'ball. He had a wooden bat for an arm, but his left arm was normal. His left leg was wooden, and half of his face was wooden too.

**David the Scout  
Level 20 Wood-Thing  
HP: 58/58  
Type: Plant/Ground Type Poke'mon**

Plank smirked as he threw a Purple pokeball. **"Go Timmy the Pirhanna!"**

A small, but furocious Pirhanna Plant planted itself on the ground.

**Timmy the Pirhanna Plant  
Level 16 Plant  
HP: 50/50  
Type: Plant/Fire Type Poke'mon**

**What will David the Scout do?**

**Bloody Bash -  
Supersonic  
Berserk  
Stunball**

**What will Timmy the Pirhanna do?**

**Fireball  
Chomp -  
****Flamethrower  
Extinguish**

**David the Scout uses Bloody Bash!**

**Timmy the Pirhanna takes 10 damage!  
40/50 HP left  
Timmy the Pirhanna is suffering from bleeding!**

**Timmy the Pirhanna uses Chomp!**

**David the Scout takes 14 damage!  
44/58 HP left**

"This is going to take a while." SK said, yawning. "Anyone want to play football?"

**1337 seconds (About 22 minutes) later...**

Double D was down to just 1 poke'mon, while Plank had just one as well.

**"Go, Rick Astely Jr.!" **Double D said. Rick Astley (That Rick-roll guy) came out of the Poke'ball, except he had tentacles for arms.

"RAAAAAWWRRR! YOU KNOW THE ROOOUELS, AND SOO DO EIIIIIIIIIII!"

Plank screamed like a school girl in fear. "NO!" Panicked, he took a poke'ball from thin air and threw it. "Go Super Fishy Face!"

And out came... a foot...

"NO! WRONG POKE'MON!" Plank said in panic.

"Haha!" Eddy said. "You're about to get totally obliterated! Do it sockhead, do it! Do it sockhead, do it! Do it sockhead, do it!"

"Very well, gentlemen. Rick Astley, use Mega-Cannon-Death-Ray-of-Sheer-Doom-and-Destruction!"

"RUN FOR COVER!" Leo said, hiding behind a plant.

Everyone took their hiding spots except for poor Mr. Foot.

Rick Astley started charging up blinding energy in his tentacle/hands. His eyes glowed brightly. Energy surrounded him as he transformed into a Super-Sayian version of himself. Electricity surrounded him as his now golden hair waved dramatically. He grinned devilishly, as he finally fired a bright, blue wave of pure energy from his mouth. The foot was engulfed in the energy, the pain was overwhelming.

...

**Mr. Foot takes 545284378956726903 damage!  
It was super effective!  
Mr. Foot fainted!**

"HECK YEAH!" Eddy suddenly said. "We won! 2 out of 3! WE WON! WE WON! WE !"

"OH ON CONTRARY MY DEAR EDDY!" Plank yelled. "I said that whoever loses all 3 poke'mon lose. But I never said the other person _wins_! And since I'm the boss around here, that counts as a point for me!"

"CHEATER! CHEATER CHEATER CHEATER!" Ed yelled in his usual tone. "GET HIM!" Ed jumped into the air dramatically again, ready to unleash a powerful ground pound onto the board-thing. Plank easily deflected the Ed-boy by letting another bird fly into the building and hit him, causing him to lose his balanced and fall on his head.

"Anyways," Plank said. "Whoever wins the next challange is the winner!"

"NOOOOO!" Ed screamed in agony.

SK raised an eyebrow. "Why did you scream in agony?"

"Because then the story will _end_!"

**SHOCK!**

"Well, I better grab a book." Edd said, relaxing on a lawn chair. "$20 bucks says that the author's gonna take another 3 months to write the next chapter."

"Oh yeah?" Jimmy asked. "30 bucks says he'll write it within the next 2 weeks!"

Eddy took the challenge. "You're on!"

SK rolled his eyes. "Well, I guess we should wait until the next chapter to start the next epic-duel challenge."

"Yes. So... now what?" Leo asked.

"... Reruns of 'The Last Airbender' anyone?"

**Well, I guess that's it for chapter 13. Thank you for reading. Don't really have much to say. So... Bye. :D**


	14. TSC: The Ultimate Showdown

**I'm BAAAAAAAAACK! :D**

**Ed: Isn't this the final chapter?**

**Eddy: If it is, then get on with it. I'm sick and tired of all this stupidness.**

**Double D: That's "stupidity," Eddy; something you seem to be suffering from.**

**Plank: EPIC BURN!**

**This isn't a chatroom! GET OUT OF HERE! *grabs Rambo knife from chapter 12* SLICE! KEEL! STAB! *wards away the Eds and Plank* Well then, onto the story!**

**Chapter 14: The Shadow Challenges Part 3: The Ultimate Showdown**

**THE POLL IS NOW CLOSED. Now we shall see the results...**

"HA!" Jimmy said. "I win! He BARELY wrote the story within 2 weeks! Pay up, Eddy!"

"Dagnabbit." Eddy said in a Texas-accent as he gave Jimmy 30 dollars. "Well, can we get on with the last challenge already?"

And thus, all 6 of our heroes assumed battle formation, while the random girl from chapter 3 sat in the background with Mr. Imanidiot, Sarah, Nazz, Kevin, the Rolfy Boys, Scooby Doo, and several other people watching while eating popcorn and drinking sodas.

The heroes let loose their battle cries.

"GET 'EM BOYOS!" Jimmy yelled.

"Let's have a go at it!" Eddy yelled.

"FEAR THE WRATH OF EVIL TIM!" Ed cried out.

"Eat my dust!" Leo said darkly.

"Mentlegen?" SK said in a French Accent (Cookie to whoever figures out the meme).

Everyone stopped however, when Double D had failed to say anything.

Eddy sighed. "You gotta yell a battlecry, buckethead."

"I will not take part in unnessisarily shouting a random phrase." Double D reasoned.

SK threateningly took out the Rambo knife from his pocket.

"... Let us proceede, gentlemen!" Double D said.

"HORRAY!"

"HE SAID SOMETHING RANDOM WHILE SANE!"

"GET OUT THE CAKE!"

"GET THE CAKE OUT!"

**THIS IS WHERE THE STORY STARTS GETTING GOOD**

"TAKE THIS!" Plank yelled, as he pulled a demonic-looking sword from thin air. "TASTE MY STEEL!" He stabbed his sword into the ground, sending out a massive shockwave to the group. Leo, Eddy, Ed, and Jimmy all jumped out of the way, but Double D and SK were hit, and sent flying into the air.

While in midair, Ed yelled, "SUPER MONO-BROW ATTACK!" His eyebrow turned into a giant fist, ready to smash down onto the evil wooden board (Grim Adventures of Ed edd n Eddy reference! TECHNOMARU IS KREDIT TO STORY!). However, the board dodged just in time, letting Ed smash the ground.

Jimmy, Eddy, and Leo all fell to the ground on their feet. As soon as they landed, Eddy and Leo dashed at inhuman speeds towards Plank. Leo unsheathed his sword while Eddy pulled a few Ninja throwing knives. Leo thrusted forward when he got into range, and Eddy threw his daggers. Both hit plank, making him bleed chlorophyll **[1]**

"Arghh! You'll pay for that, you runts!" Plank grabbed his swords and sliced forward, cutting off Eddy's 3 hairs.

"MY SWEET DO!" Eddy yelled in shock. "I WILL DESTROY YOU!" Out of intense rage, he started charging up power in his palms.

"Is he _supposed_ to do that?" Plank asked.

"FIRE BLAST!" Eddy suddenly launched an epic lava font onto Plank. He started burning. Randomly, a window that said **"It's super effective!" **appeared out of nowhere.

"IT BURNS!" Plank said. After getting some lava out of his eyes, he unleashed a tornado. Leo, Eddy, and Ed were captured in it and it threw them high into the sky. Jimmy tackled Plank to the ground and started beating him with his BARE HANDS. After about 2 minutes of pain, Plank threw an acid bomb at Jimmy, causing him to start melting.

"AHH!" Jimmy said. He noticed that the others FINALLY fell from the sky. "I'm done for! Get him!" Jimmy then melted to oblivion.

"NO! JIMMAH!" Ed yelled. "You will pay, evil board thing of evil evilness that is evil!" He started to meditate. Soon after, he turned into Super Ed, with golden hair and pure energy radiating from him. "This ends NAO!" He rushed up to Plank at god-like speeds and blasted him with several combo punches and kicked him high into the air.

He flew up after him, and punched him several more times, before Chuck Norris Roundhouse-kicking him into a nuclear bunker.

The five chased after Plank into the nuclear bunker. He smirked. "Dont' think I've run out of tricks yet! Nuclear strike force; GO!"

Suddenly, a loud siren sounded, and a nuclear missile headed towards the now-open bunker.

"AHH!" The Eds yelled.

"Get into my forcefield! It'll drain my life force, but I need to protect you all!" SK said. The Eds and swordsman rushed into the forcefield, and the nuclear missile hit it with a HUGE kaboom.

The Eds and Leo were teleported to the moon. Luckily, the Oxygen Maker 9000 was still working. "He gave his life to save us..." Eddy said. "Wait... THAT _YOU'RE _next!" He pointed at Leo.

"Ahh crud." Leo said. He would have said something more vulgar, had it not been for the K rating of the fiction.

"BOO!" Plank said as he teleported behind Leo. He **STABBED **Leo in his back as he yelled out in pain extremely loudly.

Suddenly...

**"We will, We will, EAT YOU!"**

**"We will, We will, EAT YOU!"**

**"We will, We will, EAT YOU!"**

"The extra-terrestrials!" Double D remembered. "Leo's scream must have notified them of our location! Perhaps they'll attack Plank!"

Suddenly, 400 moon men surrounded the Eds and Plank.

One of the moon men took out a bugle from nowhere and sounded it. "GIVE HIM HECK!"

The Eds braced for impact, only to realize that the moon men were attacking Plank.

"ARGH! EVIL MOON PEOPLE!" Plank unleashed a powerful attack that disintegrated all 400 moon men. "You're next!" He pointed towards the Eds.

"Not if **I **have anything to say about it!"

"No..." Plank said, dumbfounded. "I... I got rid of you! You can't be here!"

"But indeed I am!" Jonny then burst from the ground, now in his Captain Melonhead costume. "I can't believe you betrayed me, Splinter! After all we went through together!"

"It's what I had to do! Now leave me be so I can destroy these pests!"

"Feelings..." Ed said in a hurt tone.

"No! Double D," Captain Melonhead yelled. "The Sandghettico!"

Double D remembered about the Sandghettico, and pulled it out from under his bucket helmet. "What do I do with it?"

"THROW IT AT HIM!" Captain Melonhead yelled. Plank started waving his sword around and started chasing after Melonhead. "Hit him!"

"Umm... okay," Double D said. He started drawing up some schematics and blueprints. "Now, I must build a contraption and multiply Distance and velocity, divide by height, and subtract the gravity, I should be able to hit Plank!"

"OH JUST GIVE IT TO ME!" Eddy yelled. He snatched the hybrid food, and threw it at Plank. It hit him, and Plank yelled out in pain. "NOT THE SANDGHETTICO! MY POWER IS BEING DRAINED!"

"Quickly!" Melonhead commanded. "Get your hat back at Earth! I'll stall Splinter for as long as I can!"

"Righteo!" Ed said. He drew another cannon like back in chapter 4 and fired Eddy, himself, and Double D back at Earth with surprisingly good trajectory.

"AHHH!" They crashed into Plank's palace. "There it is!" Double D said, the hat resting on a pillow. He ran as quickly as he could to the hat, which wasn't very fast at all. About 2 feet away from the hat, Plank landed right in between the 2.

"You're not going anywhere!" Plank smirked.

"But where's Jonny?" Eddy yelled.

"I took care of the bald one..." Plank dramatically lifted up a half-of-a-watermelon, the very one Captain Melonhead used.

"NOO!" Ed yelled. "You've gone too far this time!" Ed took a rock, and threw it so hard it broke the very fabrics of time, and created a portal to 525 A.D.

"AHHH!" Plank yelled. He grabbed onto the ground with his sword, while the Eds hung on with their fingernails. The portal sucked everything up, and was starting to get bigger.

"Grab the hat, Double D!" Eddy yelled.

Since he obviously wasn't the most muscularly toned person, Double D slowly inched towards the hat. That was when Plank grabbed his leg. "I won't let you!"

"NO!" Ed dramatically flung himself into Plank, knocking them both into the portal.

"LUMPY!" Eddy cried. "Grab the sock now before- GAHH!" Eddy was soon pulled into the portal by Plank's rouge arm.

"Eddy!" Double D yelled. He continued inching towards the hat.

"Almost... there... YES!" Double D used his free arm to grab his hat. He took off the bucket, and quickly put his sock hat on.

Suddenly, the portal disappeared. Eddy, Ed, Leo, Plank, Jimmy, Jonny, and SK reappeared in front of Double D's eyes!

"Way to go!" Eddy congratulated. "We did it!"

"NOOO! MY KINGDOM! MY POWER! I SHALL RETUURRRNN!" Suddenly, his body disappeared, leaving only the very piece of wood that caused this whole mess.

"The world has returned to normal!" SK said. "Thank you all. Especially you, Double D. Without that hat, all of the world would have crumbled into dust. But now, I must go. Come Leo."

Leo nodded. "Great job out there. We did real good today. But for now, I think I'm just going to go back home."

SK sighed. "This has been a great victory today. Be proud of it, everyone." SK turned to the Eds. "Perhaps we'll meet again someday."

Double D bowed politely. "I will count the days until that time, my friend."

Eddy sighed. "Well, looks like everything will return to normal."

SK nodded. "Indeed. Good bye my friends." The cat then took his staff, and slammed it onto the ground. The entire world was engulfed in light as the world was reborn again...

**Epilogue**

It was a normal day. Double D woke up normally, and quickly dressed into his red shirt and purple pants. He walked towards his closet. That's where he kept his neatly-folded clothes.

"Well, that's the end of that." Double D said. He walked outside, only to meet up with the other Eds. "That was some journey, wasn't it Eddy?"

"You bet it was." Eddy replied. Double D walked to his mailbox to check for anything. But this time, he noticed something out-of-the-ordinary. "Look gentlemen. A letter from Shakespeare Kitten."

Eddy's eyes widened. "Well, open it sockhead!"

Double do obeyed and opened the letter.

**_Dear the Eds_**

**_Thanks to your efforts, the world has been restored to it's original state. Once I told everyone at Authorsville about what happened, they all wanted me to inform you that you've been formally invited to Authorsville so you can be honored by your actions. I look forward to meeting you all again within 1 week._**

**_Sincerely yours, Shakespeare Kitten_**

**The End**

**WOAH WOAH WOAH! IT'S THE END OF WHEN DOUBLE D LOSES HIS HAT! O_O**

**Well, I guess thats it. Thank you all for reading this epic novel of action, adventure, and friendship. And yes, that IS a sequel in that letter up there.**

**_HEY! READ ME! I WON'T BE ON FOR A LOOOONG TIME! EXPECT EXTREME DELAYS BETWEEN STORIES AND CHAPTERS. BUT ISN'T THIS THE 5th TIME I REMINDED YOU ALL?_**

**Well, this is it. Thank you all for the support and favs.**

**Good bye, mah friends**


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